


Without

by queenofinsanity6



Category: Protector of the Small - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene, Near Death Experience, Pining, Yuletide 2010, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-21
Updated: 2010-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-13 22:52:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofinsanity6/pseuds/queenofinsanity6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kel is injured at the end of Lady Knight, everyone is a little bit lost. Three of those closest to her reflect on their friend, and one of them realizes something that's been there all along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beverytender](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beverytender/gifts).



In all the chaos of dealing with the dead and getting the wounded to Neal, no one immediately realized Kel was missing. It was Tobe who noticed first, huddled in a corner on a pallet, sharp eyes worried. Neal had ordered him to stay put, but he fidgeted and fussed, drawing Owen's attention. It didn't take him long to realize what was bothering the boy, there was only one thing he'd seen that Tobe cared about that much. Come to think of it, in all the fighting, he had totally lost track of his friend.

It only took a brief discussion to find where she was last headed-to the mage's tower, alone. Sure, this was Kel, and she was the most brilliant fighter he knew, outside of his knight-master, but bad things could still happen.

His search didn't take long, he found Kel, deathly pale, on the bottom of the stairs. A makeshift bandage covered one shoulder, although by the look of it, the bandage had long since soaked through, and her entire left side was coated in blood. The orange cat was draped limply over her right shoulder, looking about as dead as Kel herself. For one heartstopping moment, Owen thought she was dead. Kel, his hero, his friend, was dead, and he hadn't been there to help her. His breath caught in his throat and he sagged against the wall next to him. It was only then that he noticed the slight motion of her chest that indicated she was alive. He let out a shaky sigh of relief. He told himself that there never should have been any doubt, but he knew that was less than true. He'd built Kel up as something heroic in his own mind, but she was still human. She was just as susceptible to a lucky strike as the rest of them. Even so, he honestly couldn't fathom a world without Kel in it. Ever since the day she'd stepped in to rescue him from Joren's bullying, she'd been everything he wanted to be. She was fierce and brave, absolutely devoted to helping people, and honestly one of the best fighters he'd ever met.

The whole reason they were here, that her people were alive and safe was her sheer determination. She'd spent eight years fighting for her shield, and less than a year after she finally got it, she was willing to sacrifice it for a group of commoners. She had to make it through this. He had faith that everything else would work itself out- his knight-master was a good sort, he would surely see that Kel had done her duty by coming here to save her people.

The thoughts played through the back of Owen's head as he carefully picked Kel up and took her to a very worn out looking Neal. He was turning away from Gil when he spotted them, and he went pale. Owen brought her to their friend wordlessly, laying her down carefully before moving the cat to the side.

  


Although Neal's focus was on his fallen friend, he noticed how unusually silent the younger boy was. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd known Owen to be at a loss for words. He was unsure how to handle it now, although the cause of Owen's worries was obvious. Honestly, he himself was fairly thrown by Kel's injury. Thanks to the Lioness' training he was able to keep it from distracting him, but a part of him was absolutely terrified for his best friend. He had been concerned that something like this would happen. She had an unfortunate tendency to take the lead in even the roughest situations. This was part of what made her such an effective commander, but it constantly terrified him. He'd always been afraid that one day she would get so wrapped up in the fight at hand that she would get herself killed-and it looked like she'd almost done so.

Owen continued to hover while he worked, nervous and seemingly unsure how to deal with the emotions of the situation. For both their sakes, and since he really did need to know the answer, Neal spoke up. “Where did you find her?”

Owen swallowed and seemed to take a moment to register the question. “She-she was on the stairs. Sitting down, leaning against the wall.”

Neal nodded. “And the cat was with her?”

“Draped over her shoulder. She must've been trying to bring her back.” Owen looked a little lost as he spoke. Probably, Neal thought, thinking of his horse, whom Zerhalm had not been able to save.

Neal's attention to the boy was wavering as he spread his magic through his friend's system, working to start the healing before he dealt with the mess of ugly bandages.

For a moment, both men were silent as they regarded Kel.

“You can fix her, right?” Owen blurted anxiously.

Neal didn't answer immediately, instead taking a moment to finish gauging his friend's condition. Owen watched warily as emerald fire flowed across her wounds. He was concerned when Neal swore under his breath, but the older boy nodded slowly.

“Yes, I think so.” He replied, starting to remove the makeshift bandages, his magic pooling in the wound as he did so. “Kel's tough. Gods willing, she'll be just fine.”

A small smile played across Owen's face. He looked about as relieved as Neal felt.

They were silent again for a bit until Dom came tearing over, looking like death. “Neal, someone told me they saw Owen carrying Kel's corpse, and-” He fell silent when he saw Kel laying in front of his cousin. “She's not-is she?” He asked stiffly.

Neal shook his head. “No, she'll be alright.” He told his cousin, intrigued at what he thought he saw in Dom's expression.

Owen looked between the two of them and stood up, the cat in his arms. “I should get her to Zerhalm, see if he can help her.” he said quietly, moving away before either of them had a chance to reply.

Amusement played briefly across Neal's face, but he hid it quickly. Dom barely seemed to notice, falling to his knees next to Kel, opposite Neal. He seemed to be more than a little lost, and sat there quietly staring at her for a few moments. “Dom, she'll be fine.” Neal said quietly.

After a moment, Dom nodded slowly. “Alright. Good. I... Mithros, I was scared to death.” It seemed to take him a moment to find the words, and even then they seemed to be spoken half at random. “I hadn't realized... But does she... And what should I...” He shook his head. “We can't lose her. I just can't.”

Neal raised an eyebrow, still carefully picking threads out of her wound. So that was how it was. It certainly explained more than it didn't. “So, does Kel know?” He asked innocently.

Dom jumped and looked up at Neal. “Know what?” He asked a touch nervously.

In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Neal wanted to laugh. “Know you're in love with her, clearly.”

Dom gave Neal a look that clearly said Neal would have been in a lot of trouble if he weren't busy doing a healing. “I don't know what you're talking about, Meathead. Last I checked you didn't have to be in love with someone to be concerned when they get injured.”

Neal shook his head, reaching for a real bandage to replace the one that he'd just removed. “You don't, but you are. It's obvious Dom, just admit it. You could do a lot worse than Kel.”

Dom opened his mouth to argue, then closed it, seeing the look on his cousin's face. “Fine. Yes. I am. And no, she doesn't. At least, I haven't told her. I didn't realize until... until I heard about this.” He looked fiercely embarrassed, but refused to look away. “I didn't... I've never in my life been so terrified as when I thought she was dead.”

Neal knew Dom expected to be teased for the admission, but he could sympathize. Thoughts of Yuki had been plaguing him ever since he'd set out to help Kel. His largest regret in all of this is that he would probably never have a chance to marry her now. Even having survived the fighting, he knew Traitor's Hill awaited him when he got back to Tortall. “I know what you mean.” He answered quietly, sitting back with a tired sigh.

Dom gave Neal a long look. The mage looked absolutely worn out, and he was definitely fighting to stay awake. Now that he was a little less distracted, he could see that. “You need rest.” he said firmly. “You're dead on your feet. You've taken care of all of us, now go take care of yourself.”

Neal felt like he ought to argue, but he was far too worn out to do so. He let Dom lead him to a pallet and was asleep almost as soon as he lay down.

  


Dom lingered only long enough to make sure Neal went to sleep before moving quietly back to Kel's side. He knew that she was fine, but he was still worried enough to want to linger while he could. It was odd, really, that after all the battles he'd fought and injuries and deaths he'd dealt with, that this one was so magnified in his mind. He knew that it was because of Kel, and that more than anything was what finally made him realize his feelings. He couldn't say anything, of course. They both had their own lives, with precious little room for romance. She couldn't afford to be seen mooning after a man, not now that she was starting to make a name for himself. Besides, it wasn't as if that route had any future. He wouldn't leave the Own even for Kel, and he knew she'd never ask it of him.

No, it was definitely better to stay silent, to continue to be the friend Kel needed him to be.


End file.
